I Hate Routines!

Claire called me for help, complaining about the speed of life, living with men (three sons and husband), an aging parent, and her clutter. I expected a houseful of clutter when I arrived, yet her home was quite orderly. “Why do you feel so bad?” I asked.

Claire felt trapped by her life, saying “I feel so out of control, like a tornado, swirling in different directions. My husband tries to help; he’s great, but distant.”

“He’s a smart guy,” I said. “Tornados are dangerous. He’s probably as close as he can be without getting hurt – or upsetting you more.”

She laughed. As I got to know Claire, I saw that unclear priorities, few routines, and impulsive scheduling turned her days into chaos. The clutter was in her thinking, and calendar.

“I hate routines,” she said, crossing her arms defiantly. “I want more freedom, not less!”

 “A lot of people feel that way, I explained, “but when you create routines that actually fit your unique life, they give you more freedom. They hold your intentions and priorities, and create a natural rhythm to your week. You want to see how?”

Putting her in charge, we reviewed her priorities, letting go of some commitments to make room for what was more important. Then Claire chose the best times in the week for routines. In three hours, she could see how well she “designed” her time.

Like magic, her routines consistently revealed “open time,” available week to week. Claire could now see where to fit another priority - time alone or time with friends, her freedom!  I explained, “Without creating this routine, you’re likely to give your time away and resent it.”

Claire started tearing up feeling relief. She had more options than she thought. Feeling the freedom from rush and worry, she said, “It just fits together, doesn’t it? “That’s right,” I explained, “and when you life changes, you rearrange your routines again to fit your life.”  

I said, “Instead of a tornado, you’re the captain of your ship, flowing down a river. It will be much easier for your husband to jump on board and help! Get his input on the family routines, and sail through your weeks, together.

I heard from Claire the next day:

“I awoke today for the first time in many months feeling light and able to face the day, and my life. THANK YOU for your support and guidance. I can't believe I feel so different after ONE meeting!”