Protecting Your Resources

Sarah felt pulled in too many directions by too many people. 

She explained, “I impulsively schedule things because it sounds fun or I don’t want to disappoint people, but then I feel so rushed and resentful.”

People didn’t take Sarah’s time away; she gave it away.

After we scheduled her “fixed” time (work and time for her son, for example) and “breathing room” (more time between commitments, time for travel, and time to eat and prepare meals), Sarah was feeling more in control, but there was more to do.

Sarah now needed to learn how to clearly see and protect her unscheduled time.

I asked her to put a box around any unscheduled time in her next two weeks. Instead of just seeing a blur of appointments, she could now quickly see blocks of “open” time. There weren’t many.

Instead of thinking of it as managing your time, think of it as protecting your resources.

Every time you schedule something, you are spending or replenishing your resources:

• time
• money
• energy

Just like the earth, you have limited resources. It wrecks havoc if you don’t respect these limits. Before you say “yes” to others, ask yourself whether you really have the resources to give.

I continued, “Sarah, just because there’s an opening in your schedule, doesn’t mean it is available. You’re very tired and need to replenish your energy whenever possible, even if it’s only 15 minutes a day. If you don’t, you will continue to feel pulled. Instead of resenting others, recognize that it’s up to you to protect your resources.

To prevent impulsive scheduling, respond to requests by saying, ‘That sounds good, but I need to look at my calendar and get back to you.’ Write the requests down together, and carefully look at your calendar and the list as a whole. This gives you the necessary time and perspective to choose well.”

“But how do I say ‘no’?” Sarah worried.

I explained, “You don’t say ‘no,’ you respectfully say, ‘Thank you.” Continue by saying, ‘I would love to, but I’m really trying to balance my days and can’t add anything more right now.’ They may not like your answer, but they will admire your effort. Everyone is trying to create more balance in their life.”

If you protect your resources now, you’ll soon feel better, and have more to give away in the future - if you choose.