I Hate Routines!

Claire called me for help, complaining about the speed of life, living with men (three sons and husband), an aging parent, and her clutter. I expected a houseful of clutter when I arrived, yet her home was quite orderly. “Why do you feel so bad?” I asked.

Claire felt trapped by her life, saying “I feel so out of control, like a tornado, swirling in different directions. My husband tries to help; he’s great, but distant.”

“He’s a smart guy,” I said. “Tornados are dangerous. He’s probably as close as he can be without getting hurt – or upsetting you more.”

She laughed. As I got to know Claire, I saw that unclear priorities, few routines, and impulsive scheduling turned her days into chaos. The clutter was in her thinking, and calendar.

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Special Gifts to Give

The Gift of Your Belongings

Still shopping for the holidays? Instead of going to the mall, go into your home and find nice items that you no longer love or use. “Nice” means in good condition and/or holds aesthetic, emotional or financial value. Wrap it up for the person you think would really appreciate it. In one effort, you get clutter out of your home, save money, and give a thoughtful gift.  You can do this year round, too. Everyone benefits.

The Gift of Your Experience 

Rather than buy another object, buy a gift that you and your loved ones can share: a special meal, event, or place to enjoy together.  Write a card saying your gift is your attention and a good time.  What could be more loving than that? The experience will keep in your memory, and can be shared for years to come. 

The Gift of Your Presence

Give people the gift of your presence by not answering the phone just because it rings. No one needs to hear that you are “in a meeting, on the other line or driving, and can’t talk now.” Or worse, you engage in the phone call, fully expecting the person you were with to wait. Personally or professionally, let’s tell the truth, it interrupts the flow of communication and connection, and is just plain disrespectful. I know it has become common practice, but it is a practice that unnecessarily adds stress to our days. When critical thinking, emotions or money is involved, taking that call can cost you a lot. Instead of Pavlov, Pause and be Present℠. Remember voice mail? Use it, you pay for it. Of course there are exceptions, but you’ll feel less frantic, more in control by choosing a good time (for you) to return calls. Everyone will be more at peace. That’s a gift we can all use – all year long.

Time to Upsize

For two years, John tried to get his father’s condo ready to sell.  He had made progress, but hated going there, and found numerous ways to avoid it. His father had been very neat and kept meticulous financial records. Even though there was no mortgage, John was still paying condo fees and felt “he had let his dad down” because of the mess and fiscal waste.

What remained were family photos and memorabilia and “endless” financial records. After learning about my services from a colleague, he fortunately took advantage of my free ½ hour phone consultation, and got unstuck. 

I showed John how to think about his clutter so that he could feel better while we did the physical work.

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Those Old Family Photos

Roger called me to help him to “finally deal with his old photos.” He was moving to a smaller home, and didn’t have room to store them all. Feeling overwhelmed, he said, “I’m not getting any younger. I should have done it with my wife, but she died two years ago.” His greatest worry, though, seemed to be what service or technology to use to preserve them.

I said, “Roger, worrying about how to preserve your photos distracts you from what really needs to be done: deciding which pictures you want preserved.”

“I see what you mean,” Roger said, “And with you, I’ll make the time and won’t get stuck going down memory lane.” I assured him that clutter-clearing can be enjoyable, and much easier when you learn how and not alone. I suggested that he invite some relatives over in about a month to help identify people or places in some of the pictures.

“Good idea,” said Roger. We hadn’t even started, yet Roger already felt better. 

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Yikes! My Kid's Artwork

Something had to be done. Jamie’s artwork was all over the house. His parents felt “just crazy” with it all, yet feared hurting Jamie’s feelings if they got rid of any it.

The whole house had become a gallery (and playroom) because Jamie didn’t have his own “zone.” With a bedroom too small to make and keep art and too far away for his mother to supervise, we had to first create space for Jamie on the first floor.

His mother and I had fun rearranging a large room to make an attractive, cozy living room, and a separate area with a cabinet and a good size table with chairs for Jamie and his friends. Both looked great.

Just eight and bright, Jamie was anxious to be part of the action. He noticed that his mother was happier and the house more comfortable since I showed up.

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