Putting a Lid on Paper Clutter

A few years ago I was invited into a very nice two-bedroom condo of a middle-aged man who was a medical professional. He was self-aware and articulate, but overwhelmed by the condition of his home. He wanted to get a grip on all his papers, but we decided to start where it was less threatening. His living room and dining room needed to be rearranged for more comfort and ease. He loved the results and learned to trust me.

We talked as we worked together. We did go upstairs to his home office. It wasn’t a disaster. The way he described it, I thought the piles would be up to the ceiling. The trouble wasn’t the paper, but that he felt so bad. He felt trapped, knowing that it would only get worse without help.

I soon realized that my client’s anxiety about his paperwork and bills had no basis in current reality. He loved his job, which was secure, even in this economy. He paid his bills on time, had money in the bank, and only a modest amount of credit card debt. But his anxiety made him nuts, and the piles seemed to have a life of their own.

What was really going on?

We started separating old papers from the current (past two years). We put the old stuff aside in a couple of boxes for later, and we turned our attention to the more recent papers, laying them out by category on the queen-sized guest bed. A recycling bin was nearby. Soon we got into a good rhythm, and relief settled in with some laughter. (For 21 ClutterClarity Tips: http://clutterclarity.com/sources-Let-Go-Of-Stuff/Decluttering-Your-Home-twenty-one-Tips.php)

We found his box of pay stubs. He had warned me.

Fifteen years ago he just started collecting his paystubs because he thought that was a good thing to do just in case he got audited. He held onto them as if his security grew with each additional paystub.

Ironically, they were perfectly organized in sequential order in a large plastic box, each year held together by a rubber band. He feared shredding them; it was easier to just keep them, but the box weighed him down, and put his self esteem in question… was he a hoarder? What was wrong with him?

There wasn’t anything wrong with him. He needed to learn what was – and wasn’t – clutter.  

I reassured him that he actually had a lot on the ball. It was great that he took such good care of the paystubs, all orderly in one large box. At least they weren’t all over the office or house. He was doing some things very well. All true. Needless to say, he definitely started to feel better.

As we worked side-by-side, I taught him how to make good decisions, giving him a copy of my resource guide, Paper Clarity at a Glance: What to Keep and When to Let Go. After a couple of hours, we clipped together each category and put them all on a few shelves for safe keeping. The recycling bin(s) were full. The bed and floor were clear; the desk and filing would wait till next time. The bag of paystubs stayed neatly in the corner of the room – for now. Somehow it had shrunk in size. Relief replaced feeling overwhelmed, and we both looked forward to our next session. (To learn more about PaperClarity, click on  http://clutterclarity.com/sources-Let-Go-Of-Stuff/Paper-Clutter-Declutter-Booklet.php)

But what was under this successful professional’s paper clutter?

He soon told me a story.

Many years ago, he witnessed his father fall apart in tears over his bills as he realized that he had to file bankruptcy, despite all his efforts to avoid it. His mother had died, and he was made to stay in the room while his father panicked, and then fell into despair. Even though the home was not lost, his father never fully regained his financial and emotional footing. My client, too, not yet a teenager, was never quite the same.

Knowing that he loved and collected boxes, I suggested that he need to not “get rid of “ the memory of her father, but respectfully put it in its place, and in perspective, by placing it in a beautiful, small imaginary box – and put a lid on it – for safe keeping. He laughed, and went one step further. He found a loved box, and carefully placed the memory there, with me as his witness.

As we continued to clear clutter together, his new found awareness and skills strengthened his emotional balance. He began to disconnect from the memory and trust his ability to make good decisions again. He was now free to let go wisely - no longer trapped by his anxiety.

To schedule ½ hour FREE Phone Consultation with Laura: Easy@ClutterClarity.com

To receive Weekly Real Life ClutterClarity Stories, click here: http://clutterclarity.com/Let-Go-Of-Stuff-sources/Organize-My-Home-services.php

Enjoy, Laura