Creating a Spacious Calendar

At 50, Sarah was an accomplished musician and teacher, mother of a seven year old son, and wife. Her life was full of family, friends, students – and resentment. She loved them, but “wanted everyone to go away and leave her alone.”  

Sarah needed to learn how to protect her time. When she pulled out her calendar, I was surprised to see how small it was: about 4 X 8 inches when open, showing only months with little blocks for days. There was room to scribble in only a fraction of her days. It was crammed and chaotic, just like how she felt.

“Why do you use such a small calendar?” I asked. “It fits into my pocketbook,” Sarah replied. Smiling, I said, “At the very least you need a bigger bag and calendar to help you navigate your days.” 

Sarah needed immediate relief.  She was tactile, comfortable with pencil and paper. A Blackberry would be too small and required too much of a learning curve. I picked out a hardcover, academic “spacious” calendar (10 X 24 inches when open) for her. It showed days, weeks, and then months, which we all need to make good decisions about time. She now had a wide angle view (months) down to a detailed view (days with 1/2 hour time slots).

We talked and began to schedule her next three weeks. We first scheduled  “fixed” things, such as work and when to pick up her son from school. As I learned  more about her “out of control life” and what she wanted, I showed her what she could control: 

•          Travel – schedule at least 15 minutes more than you think you need
•          Transitions – schedule at least 15 minutes open time between commitments
•          Food – schedule regular times to eat and prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner
•          Planning – schedule at least 30 minutes a day to take care of schedule and lists
•          Sleep – Go to sleep by 11:00 PM, not 1:00 AM
•          Morning – get up ½ hour before family for her important, quiet cup of coffee
•          “Sacred bubble” time – schedule a 2-3 hour block of time per week to be alone and think

She now had an essential framework that gave her time to breathe. Everything else needed to fit around these times. Sarah worried about whether she could actually do it, but just writing these times down made her feel better, even hopeful.

I received an e-mail in just a few days. 

“Laura,  my Genie, I can’t believe how much better I feel. So ‘spacious.’ I’m not so cranky, not rushing so much. My son has noticed, too and wants you to work in his room next!  Well, he can’t have you yet. What a difference. THANKS!”

To be continued…